The Power of the Pen Is Worth Its Weight in Gold

This is slightly embarrassing to admit, but I recently tried to cash in some gold jewelry on one of the TV commercial companies. They air advertisements during daytime TV, so we moms see them all the time. Get cash for gold! It's easy as one-two-three! It seemed easy enough, or so I thought.

After seeing those annoying commercials over and over again I thought to myself, Hmph, makes sense. I don't wear some of my jewelry anymore. Might as well try to cash it in and see if it's good for something besides collecting dust in my jewelry box. Plus, we're in a recession so maybe I could get us some extra money! So, I visited the website (http://www.mygoldenvelope.com/) and received a free jewelry envelope.

After just days, the envelope came and I set to work. First, I dumped out my jewelry box and found a lot of crap in there I had forgotten about, like necklaces from old boyfriends. Yeah, don't need those anymore! Next were the silver rings I sported on every finger, during the mid-nineties. Don't know if anyone else did that during junior high, but I did. The website said they'd take gold, platinum or silver....so I dumped those into my envelope without hesitation. I filled my envelope about half full, sealed it up and I sent it off to some PO box in Ft. Lauderdale. Then I waited. And waited some more. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. Then I tried searching my tracking number on their website...............and waited again..........and waited some more.

Then, just yesterday, I got a post card in the mail. It stated, "Thank you for your recent submission, but we found it to be non-precious; therefore we cannot pay you. In order to receive your gold back you must send a money order for $25.00 to the address below and your items will be returned to you within 7 business days." What the?! Huh?! Non-precious? I don't understand. I sent a pouch full of sterling silver rings, which they promised to accept, and a pair of 14-karat gold earrings! I also threw in some sterling silver necklaces and charms from boyfriends. That's weird. There was a lot of stuff in there. Well, okay I understand if maybe there wasn't enough to buy. Or maybe it wasn't as "precious" as I had expected. That's fine. No big deal. I'm not gonna cry over it. But pay YOU to get it back? That's absurd! And why twenty-five bucks? There's no way it costs ANY company in the continental U.S. $25 to ship a three-pound package domestically! That's ridiculous!

So like any red-blooded American, I flew into a rage, feeling very ripped-off. I ranted and raved as quietly as I could while my boys were napping. My brain pulsated as I thought of what my next move would be. Then, as any good college grad would do, I put my anger into action.

I wrote a complaint letter. In my letter, I was focused. I was eloquent. I was educated. I was threatening. I was crisp. I was organized. I was thorough. I was clever. But I was too dumb to save a copy of it before I hit send, so I could post it on this blog entry. But just take my word for it; it was good. I outlined my reasoning for my frustration, one point at at time: I worked out the outrageous $25 cost and displayed more realistic domestic shipping charges. I cited examples where legal disclosures could have been more up front. I threatened to exploit them to my family and friends. Then I ended with a threat of contacting the Better Business Bureau, who they proudly claimed they were a member of. Then I hit send, and visited the Better Business Bureau's website. I cut and paste my lovely complaint letter, and hit send again. Take that! And that! And that! I thought to myself with a conniving grin.

No less than 24 hours later, http://www.mygoldenvelope.com/ called me on the phone, made a personal apology, waived the $25 fee and agreed to return my jewelry free of charge. Done deal.

So, the moral of the story is: Things always look better on TV, for a reason. Don't do the gold jewelry cash-in thingy that I did. Another moral: Never underestimate the power of the pen! Or in this case, the keyboard! Lastly: Never underestimate a red-headed, angry housewife with a bachelor's degree in English, especially during a recession.

P.S. If anyone ever needs an angry complaint letter that will get results. I am happy to oblige. It's one of my less noteworthy talents, but I guess there are worse things to be good at.